Easy as Breathing
by IlyEmbry90
Summary: Bella left Jacob hurt and broken. He thinks he'll never imprint. But what happens when Grace comes to town? Will she be able to love him? Will he be able to accept his love? BD never took place, post Eclipse. JacobxOC. No flames! R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **Hi! this is only my second fanfic! I'm just gonna say this upfront: I'm very sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors, feel free to correct me if you feel like it. Constructive criticism only! No flames please.

**Disclaimer:** (I'll say this once and only once coz it gets tiring writing these things and you'll all read it when you read this story for the first time. And anyways, w if i were Stephenie Meyer why would i be posting alternate Twilight stories on here?) I don't own the plot or any recognisable character from the Twilight Saga, they all belong to Ms Meyer, the lucky woman. Okay, skill might have had something to do with it. And hard work.

**Easy As Breathing**

GPOV

With the wind screen wipers working busily to stop the rain from obscuring my sight of the road, I pulled up at the house I could call mine. I felt a rush of rash excitement. No. What was that? Normally I was a fairly pessimistic person, never focusing on the good. I could find the bad in any situation with ease. What can i say? I'm not a happy person.

I looked in the review mirror. The removalists' trucks were here. With a sigh, I got out of the car and jog over to the trucks. They've already started to unload things. I was surprised. Normally they'd be as slow as hell and rip you off for as much as they can. They were very efficient. They had unloaded the truck and put the furniture in the right rooms in less than two hours. After generously tipping them they departed leaving me to the rest.

* * *

The next morning when i awoke it was pouring. Again. I got up and went to make myself coffee. Sipping it slowly, i sit myself down on my leather couch. I really loved having my own place. No more pretending to be happy, no more judgements and concerned looks. I could be me without all that crap. Going out into Forks itself was a different matter. Small towns were a bad place for me. I would stand out, i knew it already. In the cities you could blend into the vast crowds and be invisible. But everyone in small towns knew each other. I couldn't escape the looks then. I didn't even know why I got those looks. I couldn't be the only one. Sighing dejectedly, i got up and returned to unpacking. I had only gotten as far as my bedroom last night before collapsing on my unmade bed. Today, i would focus on the kitchen and lounge. I started with the heavy things. After pushing and pulling the lounges into position i set to the T.V. After nearly dropping it several times i had placed it in spot that it could be viewed from. I plugged it in, with the DVD as well. The cable man was coming tomorrow. Next, i dragged my mahogany (and very heavy) bookshelf across the room to a corner. I took a break from the workout to start placing my broad collection of books on the large shelves. I loved to read. It was like an escape to another world. You could forget your worries and unhappiness. For me, reading was freedom. It was probably the only time i was ever completely happy now.

Once the empty boxes the books were stacked, i continued to slowly create the picture of the room in my head. It was done before midday. The kitchen was more dangerous. There were lots of things I could potentially break and/or hurt myself on. I wasn't clumsy; I just dropped things a lot. I successfully unpacked the saucepans without dropping one on my foot but I wasn't hoping for my luck to hold out. I continued to unpack plates, glasses, containers and more useless things I would hardly ever use. I was surprised. I had made it through all of this without breaking anything. What a novelty. I glanced at the newly hung clock. Five p.m. _And still raining _i thought. I don't think it had hesitated for a second all day. I was beginning to like Forks. Rain was good for me. It suited my mood every day.

Much later that night I crawled into my double bed, exhausted.

* * *

The rest of the week consisted of unpacking the rest of the house. By the weekend I was sick of the house and decided, against my better judgement to explore the town. _I'll just have to ignore the staring _I repetitively told myself. With that, I walked out of the house and into the rainy new world.

I had to say, I'd never been stared out quite so much before. And these people weren't even subtle about it. Everyone who set eyes on my gazed at me with shock in their eyes. At first I ignored it, but it was starting to get to me. Sighing, I rose from my bench and started to head back to my car when I saw people walking towards me. I quickened my pace in attempt to avoid an unnecessary conversation that would become gossip quickly. Unfortunately they also sped up and one of them yelled out

"Hey!"

I swore under my breath and reluctantly turned to face the group. The one who had called out held out her hand.

"Hey. I'm Jessica." She was short but her wild curly hair gave her a few inches. Suddenly, I remembered I should take it, so I shook her hand.

"Grace." I mumbled in reply.

"You're new" obvious. "How long have you been here?" Curious and chatty. What a great combination.

"Just a week"

"Mmm. Well, this is Angela and Lauren." Indicating a tall brunette and a pale blonde with this comment.

"Why did you move here? Shouldn't you be in college?' Definitely not going to like her.

"No. I moved for a change of scene."

"Oh. Where 'ya from?"

"New York." Maybe if I keep it short, she'll go away.

"Wow, this must be different." She remarked

I nodded in reply. She seemed to get the message because with a quick goodbye she departed. I had survived my first social encounter with people in Forks. With that thought, I jumped in my car and quickly drove home.

I was relieved and exhausted when I got home. People always had that effect on me now. So, in order to keep my energy I tried to keep away from people, period. For the rest of the night I went in through a cycle of reading a few chapters of a book, then flicking through the channels to see if anything worth watching was on. It went on for some time before I saw my own stupidity. I pulled myself off the couch and trudged off to bed. Curled up in ball, under the covers I thought about my new home, life. I had to say I liked it. It was lonely and boring, not to mention repetitive. But it was nothing like my old life. And that was _exactly _what I wanted.

**AN:** So what does you think? I may not update this a whole lot because I wrote the few chapter I have for this fanfic a while ago so it may take a while to get back into this story. But if you feel it's worth it, bear with me!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

JPOV

The exhilaration of running had worn off weeks ago. Now, I was just running because I was at a loss at what else to do. That and the pain. The pain, that if I was human, I was sure would cripple me. I missed her so much. _STOP thinking about her!_ I thought to myself severely. But I couldn't. No matter how I tried, her deep brown eyes were always there, at the back of my mind. That and her hand. With a ring on it that ruined everything. _Why did she have to marry it? WHY? _I had tortured myself with that question for however long I'd been running. And I could always come up with an answer that tortured me more than the question. _Because she loves him. _A spasm of pain shot through me. That shocked me. I didn't normally feel such human emotions when I was in this form. Whimpering, I sped up and made a sharp right turn. Did I know where I was going? Of course not. Did I even know which continent I was on? Nope. Because I didn't care.

_Jake? Is that you?_ Embry. Great. I had been trying to evade them for weeks. Deliberately sticking to dense forest so they couldn't figure out where he was, singing a song while they were wolves.

_Jake. Please come home. Billy's not doing so well. He puts on a brave face but he's really hurting underneath._

_What part of leave me alone do you not understand? _ I thought back angrily. Then the anger was at myself. I had gone however long without talking to them. Why did I have to now? But he had found the weak chink in my armour. My dad. The pack could manage without me. I would miss them, but they would survive. But my dad was dependant on me. He was in a wheelchair for Christ's sake! The pack would look after him, I knew. But I was all of the family he once had, left. He needed me. And I abandoned him. Guilt washed over me.

_Look, if you want me to come home why don't you ask outright instead of trying to guilt me into coming home?_

_We've all tried that. With no results. I'm not trying to guilt you into coming back, it's the truth._

_Right. Well I can't. Not yet. Now piss off. _ I thought sourly.

_Jeez. Okay, sorry. I won't bother you from wallowing in self pity again. _He snapped before he phased back. Instantly I felt guilty. I had turned on my own brother and best friend. I really had to stop this grief from governing my life. I was alienating and hurting my family. So, for the first time in a long time I phased into human form. The grief was terrible but I knew I had to face it at some time. I lay down under a tree and went to sleep.

My dreams were haunted with _her. _Every minute we had spent together since I met her played back in my head. It tortured me. I woke up shaking and sweating. I decided to do something constructive. Like found out where I was. I knew I couldn't go back quite yet. That would be asking too much of myself. Maybe in time, once I got used to the pain. Without really thinking about it I phased and went north. With a good feeling I'd find something that way.

Several hours later I had broke out of the forest. But no sign of civilization. Just wide, open plains. I didn't feel comfortable running in such an exposed area. I was so used dense, green forest. For several minutes I just stared out into the plains waiting for a sign of movement, using my werewolf-enhanced eyesight. No sign of movement. Walking, slowly, I start out in the open space. After warming up to the idea I break out into a full pace sprint. With the wind running through my fur, I start to see the advantage of open space. No dodging trees or bushes. You could go faster purely because there was nothing to avoid.

It had been hours but I was still not tired. Great advantage. It seemed like years since I'd seen a person. It could've been for all I knew. But in the distance I could see huge sky scrapers. This was something I wasn't used to. Once I reached the borders of the city I decided to morph before someone saw me. That was when I hit my first snag. No clothes. Damn. I was debating what would get me into more trouble. Naked guy running through city, or werewolf running through city. I decided I'd go werewolf but with extreme stealth. Slowly, and extremely cautious, I trotted closer and closer to the city. That was when I saw the first house. Opportunity. I peered through a kitchen window. Luck was with me, no one was home. I walked around the house, hoping for an open window. With no luck. But, I did see an open door on the second story. And, conveniently a tree within jumping distance of it. If I hadn't been a werewolf, it would've been hard to climb I thought sourly. Being a werewolf was what had started all of this. When I sat back and weighed up the pros and cons I wasn't sure if I'd rather not be one at all. Now, I was leaning towards no. But soon enough I was on the porch and walking into what was obviously a girl's room. Brown eyes and pale skin flashed through my head, bringing pain as well. I was out of the room in two steps. I peeked swiftly into the next room. It looked like the parents room. I felt so intrusive looking through someone else's wardrobe. I hoped the guy's clothes would fit me. Luck was with me again as this guy was obviously big because they fitted reasonably well. I jumped from the window, landing with poise and quickly departed without anyone knowing. _Next, food and figuring out where I am. _

I have to say, I hadn't been many places. In fact, I hadn't been further than Seattle. But boy, this place put Seattle to shame. It was huge. It wasn't hard to find a place to eat either. I decided to go with easy and go to McDonalds. They were a bit shocked when they heard my order but when I handed over the money they were willing enough. I would have to go somewhere else after this. People were starting to give me weird looks when I went up to order seconds. After finishing up, I strolled out, trying to ignore the looks I was getting. Next I went to Pizza Hut and then I found an ice cream parlour. Hey, when you haven't eaten in god knows how long AND you're a werewolf you get hungry.

As I was strolling down the street, feeling slightly better, I saw a sign "Phoenix's best ribs" under a restaurant sign. I looked around I horror. THIS was PHOENIX? I started shaking uncontrollably. How did this happen? Why? Why did I have to come to this city, of all places? I may as well go home. Because the only thing I'll think of all the time I'm here is her. Pushing past people I look for the nearest place to phase. Eventually I find a deserted place on the outskirts of Phoenix. But I'm more careful this time, using the last of my self control to take off the clothes I had collected.

Voices fill my head. Embry, Paul and Sam are on patrol. I brace myself for harassment. But I don't know if I can. I'm splitting at the seams. I was going to get better but that was gone now. I was going to have to start all over again.

_Hey man, sorry. _Paul, I was surprised. He wasn't very good with that kind of thing. Surprisingly.

_I don't want to talk about it. Please, I know you have to patrol but just don't talk to me. _I thought back. I wasn't angry, I was pleading.

_Guys, phase back for five minutes. _Sam. What did he want?

_What do you want? _I thought rudely. I had virtually begged for silence.

_I know you're upset but you've got to come home soon. _As calm as ever.

_I can't Sam, I just can't. Besides you said I could come back when I could. _It sounded childish but I didn't care. There was no point playing hardball with Sam, so all I could do was be truthful.

_Ok. But at least stay in one place. Don't keep moving every time the shit hits the fan. Stay in one place and make it work. _

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

JPOV

It had been three months since I had run away. I figured out eventually I had been running for a month almost constantly. I was now living in a small apartment, where I traded accommodation for "hard" labour. For the first time in ages I felt in control. But the gaping wound was still there. No matter what I did, it would not go. It was like I was on medication that stopped working whenever I moved too suddenly. If I thought about _her_ or anything related I needed to sit down. But I was coping. This is all I asked of life now. Occasionally I talked to the pack but only to see how Billy was. They had little to say to me these days. I know they wanted me back badly. But they just had no idea how much it hurt.

After working for another day, I was beat. Not from the work. That hardly made me sweat. This was what living was like now. I was exhausted from the effort to bother living. I didn't even have dinner before I collapsed on my shabby bed.

In my dream the lighting was familiar. Kind of dim, not sunlight. Well, not real sunlight. It was green. Too green. More than I remembered, even though I'd only been gone a few months. I saw a slight silhouette to my right. I pivoted to find its owner. _Please no. Don't let it be........ _The first thing I saw was the chocolate brown eyes. Filled with worry and guilt. But this wasn't my Bella. She was different somehow. Then I saw I had been fooling myself. Her eyes weren't even brown. Topaz. She was inhumanly beautiful. And I couldn't stand it one little bit.

"_Hello Jacob." Her voice was like wind chimes. It made me sick. Of all the nightmares to have......._

"_Hi."_

"_Why are you here_? _What are you doing in Phoenix?" her eyes guarded._

_I laughed without humour. "To get away." _

"_From me." It wasn't a question._

"_Everything. But yes, mainly you." I replied bluntly._

_She winced. "I know this doesn't help, but I'm sorry."_

_I grinded my teeth and didn't reply._

"_But Jake, when are coming home?' she inquired innocently._

"_Never" I answered coldly._

"_You'll have to eventually." She said sadly._

"_And do what?" i snapped. "Mope around? Pretend to be okay while everything I see and do will remind me of you?"_

"_Maybe you won't." What? Had she lost it?_

"_And why wouldn't I?"_

"_Maybe you'd meet someone else" she replied with a sly smile._

_I scowled in return. That was one thing I would never do. One heart could only do so much in its life time. And being shattered was more than enough._

"_Really?" heavy scepticism._

"_She's there. Waiting for you." She replied without thinking._

"_What?"_

"_You both need each other. Go home Jake. Everyone misses you. They need you and you need them." She pleaded with her eyes._

"_Will I get to say goodbye before you leave?" I asked grimly_

_She winced again. "Sorry Jake, but I've already left."_

_I guess I knew that. But I couldn't let her go......_

_Tears began to fill my eyes. "Bella, I miss you every moment of everyday." _

_She smiled sadly. "But you won't soon." She rose gracefully and started to tread back into the shadows._

"_Bye Jake" she whispered so I could barely hear. And with that she was gone._

_Pain overwhelmed me. I collapsed on the ground and lay there, listening to the nature surrounding me. The bird was beginning to sound very strange. Almost like a beep...._

I woke to find myself trembling and sweating. With my alarm clock going off. I slammed my hand down on it and it shattered. With a sigh I fell back down onto the pillows. That dream had seemed so real. Accurate in every way. It unsettled me deeply. Sighing I forced myself out of bed and into the shower.

After finishing off the cereal packet and milk carton, I pulled the curtains aside to look at the view. Which there wasn't much of. But what it showed me was I what I needed. To go home. I was sick of the bright sun. I needed vegetation. Dense and vast. What home held for me I didn't know but I knew I had to go home anyway. Leaving, with a note to my boss and landlord, I departed without a second glance. Once I found somewhere deserted to phase I shrugged off my clothes. Luckily, they were on patrol.

_Hey guys. I'm coming home._

_Finally! Whoo Hooo! _Embry.

_Yeah, sorry dude._

_It's cool man. Just get home quickly. Sam's starting to get pissed._

_Kay. See you in a while. _

_Bye. _And with that parting thought he was gone.

My feet pounding on the ground as I charge home, hoping I haven't missed too much. Leaving Arizona behind I head home to everything green and dense. _Home. _It felt good-even to me.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: ****Hi guys! Sorry for the wait but I have been so busy. And I'm about to become more busy. My soccer coach says training two nights a week as well as other soccer I do. And I've got a lot of other things on the side so.... updates may be rare because I'll probably be lucky to finish off homework. So sorry.**

**Chapter 4**

GPOV

I had been living in Forks for over three months now. It was perfect. Forks was perfect. I talked to no one. They had learnt very quickly to stay away. Not that they had needed much convincing. What can I say? Conversation was awkward when it concerned me. I was well suited to live alone. I never got lonely. I could sit for hours staring out the window, watching countless rain drops trail down the window. If staring was a sport I'd be an Olympic champion. It was funny, how severely things had changed. Except there was nothing remotely funny about the situation. Wincing slightly, I put on my raincoat and briskly walked out to get the mail.

Returning with tiny droplets in my hair, I flicked through. Bill, bill, bill, guilt money and letter. I sighed, this month he had given me cash. I was hoping he'd just out it on my card. It was getting racked up. My father's idea of paying back years of guilt and hate was money. This, in truth was all he had at heart. He had no idea what else to do. He'd already lost me. So he payed for my bills, house and made my life easier in the sense I didn't have to work. With another sigh I walked over to the book shelf and picked one out, an all time favourite, _Wuthering Heights. _I could lose myself in Cathy and Heathcliff's complicated, stuffed up romance for hours on end. Curling up in the couch near the constantly on heater, I thanked the Lord for books.

That was how I spent most days. Curled up on the couch. It was a miracle I wasn't obese. I laughed silently at that thought. But today I decided to take a day trip to the city. For books of course. I had read them all twice by now. I would go and stock up then settle down on the couch for another few months. I should be sad that's how I'll spend the rest of my life. But I'm not. I didn't feel much anymore. I was an emotionless, sarcastic and a sceptic that was stuffed up beyond repair.

After an hour or so drive I was getting close to Seattle. Once I found my way to a bookstore I was caught up in picking the right books. That consumed me completely which made ignoring the stares much, much easier. It was a good bookstore. I staggered under the weight of the numerous books I carried. And there were two loads. The store keeper looked startled but when I drew out my wallet she caught a glimpse of my several credit cards. With the look she was giving me I could tell she'd already wrote me off as rich little heiress with daddy's plastic. If only she knew. Signing my name on the long receipt I walk into the rain I was so used to. I would honestly be shocked if I ever see sunlight again.

Driving home the rain became worse as I approached Forks. I was so preoccupied with the thoughts of my books that I didn't realise that I had passed Forks and was making my way into the little Indian reserve. I was about to turn around when curiosity got the better of me and I continued on, along the curved roads. I saw beaches ahead. I parked the car and stumbled out. The cold, ocean air hit me hard. But I had always loved the oceans and beaches. Memories of long, sunny and hot vacations flashed before me, returning me to another world. A world of the past, a world that would never come back, yet never fades either. Shuddering, I compose myself although I can feel the cuts begin to bleed yet again. Ignoring it to the best of my abilities, I trudge along the stoned beached, mesmerised all the while. The beach looked grey from a distance but when you were on it each individual stone, pebble had a different colour. Turquoise, lilac, periwinkle blue and so, so many more. I sat myself on the wet stones, not really caring about getting a wet ass, and inspected each of the surrounding stones with care. I was there for hours, just looking touching the pretty little stones. It was the cold and shifting darkness that tipped me off that it was night time. Stiffly rising to my feet I set off to my car and heat.

That night was the first night I slept without nightmares for the first night in six years. They were filled with a collage of faces I didn't even know, the colourful stones and the dense green forest that surrounded everything around here. I didn't know what it meant but I hoped stupidly for another one. It was better than nightmares.

**AN: Sorry! I know this is short but I've got another chapter that should be up soon. I've a few already written. So would you prefer me to post them all now or do it slowly. If I post them all now you may be waiting a while for the next one so... review and tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Hi, this may be the last chapter i post for a while. I'll try to update every fortnight or so though. Sorry!

**Chapter 5**

Every single day since I had first set sight on the uncharacteristically cold beach, I had returned. Motivated, by the lack of nightmares that followed. They returned sometimes and they were worse, but getting a full, rested night was worth more to me than anything. I didn't have to remember who I used to be. The past was a very cruel thing. It reminded me of awful things, and worst, the good, innocent times.

My daily routine now consisted of getting up at around ten, getting ready and then heading down to the beach. I had a feeling I had freaked out the people of La Push. I presumed the beach was so empty because they were steering clear of me. Or maybe they were bothered by the rain. But I doubted it. I could stay down there for hours, just staring out into the water, seeing the islands in the distance. I knew just about every shade of every stone on the beach by now. This beach was so calming, peaceful. I didn't know why. Maybe because it was so foreign to me. It was nothing like any other beach I had ever seen. And I loved it for that reason alone. After spending several hours there I would reluctantly drive home at the first signs of night. This was my life. It was so empty, boring. And that was just how I liked it. I had next to no communication with other human which was good. It was hard to talk to normal people; I was so unlike them anymore. My emotions were locked up in a small place in my chests. I had more firewalls than a CEO's computer. I was hurt beyond recognition and no one was ever getting remotely close again. It hurt to see what I had become. The old Grace was trusting and forgiving. She was bubbly and perpetually happy. The new Grace was everything Old Grace wasn't. And Old Grace would never return. I felt a tear trickle down my cold cheek. I wiped it away quickly, shocked. I hadn't cried in five years. Nothing got close enough to home to make me feel. I was perpetually numb, a zombie.

Snuggling into the couch an hour later I was slowly losing myself in a book. The heater was on full blast and the television was on in the background. I couldn't stand the quite. It made everything feel dead. I couldn't stand it.

I didn't notice how tired I had been until I woke up to the sun, a rare sight. That's what I loved about living by myself, didn't matter what I did, I could sleep on the couch or, I could just not sleep at all and no one would care or notice. Keeping tradition, I dressed in a hurry and headed down to my haven.

It was different in the sun, more alive. I liked it better in the clouds, it was unique like that. It was still the most amazing beach I'd ever seen but, in the sun it was more like other beaches. I didn't like that. I sat down in my usual seat and simply stared out into the brightened horizon. My thoughtless gazing was interrupted by laughter. It was deep and loud. Men. I glanced in the general direction of the laughter. There were six of them. All male and incredibly huge I noticed with surprise. They looked extremely similar, all tall, heavily muscled with russet skin and varying lengths of straight, black hair. They hadn't noticed me yet. I doubted they would bother with a freak like me but I decided it was better to leave while it was an option. I was angry at them. They had stolen the one place on the Earth I felt happy, serene. I had to remind myself it was more their place then mine. They were obviously Native American. I was slinking away when I realised they were staring at me, all with different emotions written on their face. One looked sort of angry, impatient. Three looked curious but not really bothered. The last had a look on his face that I didn't recognise. It was so intense. It scared me. I looked away swiftly and dashed off as fast as I could without making it look deliberate I was nearly at the edge of the beach, when I looked around. I was shocked. The strange one was on the ground with the angry one underneath them. They were fighting, badly. The strange one clearly had the upper hand and was winning convincingly. But the angry one got a lucky but strong hit in which took the other with surprise. When that happened I wanted to leap to the strange one's rescue. And I had no idea why. The other three were trying to break them up, unsuccessfully. Eventually they broke up and pushed themselves to a standing position. They all talked very intensely. Most of them looked relieved, but they also looked like they were trying to convince the strange one of something. He looked mad, and stubborn. Then realisation dawned on his face. They all turned to stare at me, frozen in my position. The only face that caught my attention was the strange ones. There was a look of pure hatred on his face. And pain, real and deep pain. With that last loathing glare he took off into the forest. I was so startled by it all I couldn't move. The others now looked concerned and started towards me. That was all too much for my delicate nerves; I took off, not even bothering to be casual. Sadly, I tripped on a rock and was preparing myself for contact with the hard, sharp rocks when I felt two strong and abnormally warm arms wrap around me. He proceeded to set me right then let me go. Now that I was closer I could see differences. They were all very good looking, I observed.

The one who caught me looked at me curiously and said "Hey, are you alright?"

I cursed silently at my clumsiness. "Yeah, I'm fine." I said reluctantly. "Thanks."

"No problem. Sorry you had to witness that. Teenage hormones, what you gonna do?" he added jokingly, but was rewarded with a hit on the back of the head from the angry one. I was surprised. Teenagers? These guys had to be in their twenties.

"No, it's fine" god, I hated this.

"Oh, and ignore Jake. He has issues." He said it casually but you could see the concern behind the words.

I didn't reply. I was shaken up by him. How could he hate me so much? I hadn't been in twenty feet of him

"What's your name? Are you new around here?" Twenty questions. My favourite game.

"Kind of, moved here a few months ago." Carefully avoiding giving out unnecessary information.

"Cool. Where from?"

Gritting my teeth, which they seemed to notice, I replied "New York."

"Wow, this must be different." He stated.

I nodded, hoping he'd take the hint like the other girl did. He didn't.

"Anyway, I'm Embry, this is Quil, Paul and Jared" indicating them one at a time. I could see this was a clue to tell him my name. But I didn't give in easy.

"Hey." I murmured

One said hi back and the other two grunted in reply.

"You don't talk much do you?"

Fittingly I said nothing.

"Well we're going to get on well 'coz I never shut up. Balance." He laughed

Wait, what? Since when were we going to get along? This was polite conversation and we were going to go away and never talk to each other again. Right?

I smiled meekly in return. I had almost forgotten how to smile. I hadn't needed to fake smile for so long. I hadn't really smiled in so long. And I was sure I never would...

"Well, we better get going, so, see you around." He interrupted me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, bye"

I started walking to the car when he called out "hey, you never told me your name."

I sighed, defeated "Grace" I said simply. With that, I rushed to my car and drove away quickly.

When I reached my house I was thoroughly shaken up. It was going to be a fun night.

I put off going to bed as long as possible. But it was inevitable. With a heavy sigh, I trudged up the stairs to my bed. I fell asleep quick enough, entering my nightmare.

* * *

It was the same as always. Nothing ever making complete sense. Like a collage of all my horrors and pains.

_Fire licking up every flammable surface. The people I love, in danger. One locked in her room, crying and screaming for help. One trapped underneath a fallen object and the other being burnt alive steps away. Confusing and horrifying. I knew what I had to do. Choose. I sit in a ball and cry for help. But I jump up and pull them up and drag them out of the house. The firemen are here. I start to go back in for the others, they try to stop me. I shrug them off and run back in. Desperately trying to save them. I rush up the stairs. I hear the crying and follow it. A door separates me from my goal: to save them. I'm banging helplessly. It should break down. It's weak, but there's a barricade, preventing saviour. I hear additional screaming and realise it's me. I'm on my knees screaming for help. Not for me, for her. I bang into it repetitively, praying for a miracle. The smoke over comes me. I fall, knowing I'll die with them. Arms close around me and dragging me out, into the fresh air. My worst nightmare._

_Physiatrist offices, parties, booze, drugs and _his_ face. Then the second incident. A down spiral and the stranger's face. _

I wake up crying relentlessly. I sat there crying for the rest of the night. By dawn I'm a wreck. I wasn't numb anymore. It was horrible. I stumbled to the bathroom, blinded by tears. After using all the hot water up, I reluctantly get out. I can't leave the house today. I wouldn't make it to my car without crying. So I sit in a bundle on the couch and watch the world go by from my window.

I couldn't leave the house for days. It was hell. But I was pretty sure I could handle it now. Besides, if I didn't go I would have the same nightmare again. I'd been having it repetitively. Of course, it wasn't as bad as the first one. That was awful. So real, like I was there again. When I get there I glance carefully around to see if there is anyone around. Apparently not. So I find my normal spot and sit down. But it's not the same. With the numbness gone there is no haven. No safety. I'm still curled in my shell but I don't feel as protected. I tear slides down my cheek again. I couldn't stop them once they started. I gave in and sobbed softly to myself only to feel a pair of very strong arms wrap themselves around me. It startled me so much I stopped crying and jumped up. I hated physical contact. It was too intimate for me now. I pivoted and who I saw made me double take. It was the guy who hated me. I started backing away slowly. But I stopped when I saw his face. It was so tortured. Like my tears or something caused him excruciating pain. A look of indecision flashed across his ever-changing, russet face. The stubbornness, softness, then that inexplicable pain.

"Sorry" he mumbled before racing back into the woods.

I was so shocked I sat right back down so I wouldn't faint. This was not something New Grace was used to.

**AN: **So, we get a closer look at why Grace is the way she is. What did you think? Please review and tell me!


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:**** Hi guys! Sorry, I know it's been a while, but I did warn you.**

**Chapter 6**

JPOV

When the guys had said "let's go to the beach." It had seemed like a good idea. Now, that we were here- it felt like hell. _So many memories. _I mentally slapped myself; I couldn't afford to think about her. Yet I couldn't bear to forget her either. I knew what she meant now. You could never let go. Otherwise, it was all over. If I let go, I'd really have given up. A tremor went up my back suddenly. Embry and Paul glanced at me cautiously- bad move on their part to take me here of all places. My self control had gone to hell now, when it concerned _her_. I was no better than Paul now.

"Jakey? You there? Oh great, we've lost him again." Paul complained.

Embry looked at me sideways, concerned. I felt sorry for him. The whole pack was constantly worried about me, _my safety._ But Embry, slightly more so. Quil was too. He just had a little toddler to get caught up in when things got hard.

"Nah, he can hear us. Jake, wanna go cliff dive? Quil asked carefully, hoping, begging that it wouldn't bring up memories. It did, and bad ones too. I had to sit down.

"Nice one Quil." Paul remarked. I think Jared threw a stone at him after.

Cautiously, I collect my breath and get up. 'Yeah, sounds good." My voice has no expression anymore. It's dead.

Without a reply we start heading over. As we were walking over a stranger came into view. She was very pale with shiny black hair that contrasted with her ivory skin. And her eyes........ It was like looking at the ocean. She was so beautiful..............

Paul snorted "what's that pasty bulimic doing on our beach?" That did it. Anger bursting inside me I threw myself at him. He wasn't expecting it, so I had the upper hand. That and I was stronger. But, he got a strong right hook in. I felt my jaw break. Clenching my teeth, I fought back harder- he just couldn't be forgiven for that. Why did he have to pick on her? She was so small and vulnerable.

"Guys! NO! Come on, break it up before you phase!" Jared wailed in distress

They tried, without much hope, to break it up. With one last hit on the side of his head. I got up. Paul did too.

"What the hell was that?" Paul demanded

"Yeah, I mean, that was uncalled for on Paul's part but why does it matter that much? You don't even know her............." Jared trailed off with a look of relief on his face.

It dawned on Embry too. But there was caution there- whatever it was he didn't think I was going to take it well.

"What? What do you know?" I ask angrily.

Embry starts slowly and carefully "Jake, I think you imprinted." Realisation dawned on Paul and Quil's faces.

My first instinct is to deny it. "No, I didn't."

"Jacob, you just attacked your brother over something he said about a stranger, not even to her face" Quil pointed out.

"So? He was being an ass." I reply, trying to keep calm.

"Jake! Come on, face it you imprinted!"

"She's right there go say hello!' Paul, stupid, stupid Paul.

I turn to face her again. It hits me as hard as before. Her beauty, breathtaking. But the pain mars it. She's so sad, it breaks my heart. My shattered heart. Then awareness dawns on me. _NO! WHY THE FUCK DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? _Couldn't I be left to die in misery? And her pain made it all the worse. I wanted to throw myself off a cliff, this was too much. Without even thinking I'm in the forest and running, ready to eliminate the pain.

**AN: ****They finally meet! Kind of. Anyway, review and tell me what you think!**


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